DAY 130: Edit some of your older material.

Former:

ANAL FISSURE: Did you ever notice what or how much you ate based off of how your asshole feels?

Latter:

ANAL FISSURE: Did you ever notice what or how much you ate based off of how your asshole feels? Gay guys, time for you to head to the bar on this one.  I mean if I’m eating fruits and vegetables, asshole feels nice and tight.  I eat taco bell at 2 AM, next day I’m shittin my brains out and my asshole feels like a god damn Gynocologist was speculummin my ass, literally. I once got a thing called an anal fisher.  Now this happens when you completely hit rock bottom on your diet.  This is a nice little reminder in the form of a hard skin tags that tells ya “slow down” every time you’re takin a dump. I swear, hemroids were created by God as a deterrent to jumbo Rally’s BBQ cowboy burgers at 1 AM on a Wednesday.