DAY 212: Rewrite your oldest bit.
GAMECHANGERS - I gotta buddy with Muscles. Justin. Anybody got one of these? I feel like a fucking showman at a circus when I go out with him. All weekend, “hey ladies, check out my buddy over there…with the muscles. He thinks your cute. And…he’s shy.” We’re always playing the shy card. Which works well when he’s tired and isn’t motivated to talk because of all the working out he’s doing. The best is when his fellow muscle meathead friends are in town and they all have pecs too. So we call them…the GAMECHANGERS. At the beach, chicks come up to them and talk. We bring the Molten (volleyball) as the ultimate icebreaker for them to pickup chicks. So me and my non-pec buddies wanna hang with the gamechangers so we can “pick up all the scraps”. We’re like “wherever they’re going, we’re going.” We’re like “hey guys, take off your shirts. It’s midnight in the bar, who cares” It’s like we’re getting hit on tonight vicariously through them. We can feel safe tonight hanging with gamechangers in case we get in fight, so now we’re talking shit on everybody. And when Justin the gamechanger comes out, it’s like fishing with dynamite on these dimes.
Above is a picture of a present I got from my mom. Pretty fucking sweet, right?