DAY 15: Write in the stream-of-consciousness style.
This is going to be an interesting challenge. Firstly, a stream of consciousness is a narrative mode (conveying a plot to the audience) that seeks to portray an individual’s point of view by giving the written equivalent of the character’s thought processes, either in a loose interior monologue, or in connection to his or her actions. So think Lt. Frank Drebin when he has his inner monologues throughout the movie The Naked Gun.
Fuck you YouTube. I hate you. Couldn’t you make my life easier? I mean, I dig being able to find tutorials on you. But, I don’t like when I’m forced to keep my computer on overnight to upload a 800 MB file that takes 10 hours to complete, and I awaken to find that there was either an error in connection or it didn’t process correctly. But, but, but when it does upload correctly, then there’s some stupid ass copyright law that fringes upon me being able to view the damn video! I mean c’mon!!!! It’s a fucking wedding video sample I want to use to showcase our abilities to shoot a wedding for potential future clients. God forbid I receive 25 views in the next 3 months on this damn video. Oh man, I can’t wait to make absolutely nothing from you guys off this video! It’s gonna be great! I mean, YouTube has made it impossible for comedians to actually have a video go viral when it doesn’t have either cool After FX plugins or a god damn celebrity in it. It’s extremely frustrating playing the YouTube game and I’ve quit many times in the past 5 years. But, I keep coming back. I keep playing the game. And why? Oh because maybe someday I will have one, just one, viral video. I’ll out-view the stupid ass cat playing the Vuvuzela or the half-ass made standup comedy bit by a B-list comedian who only gets credit for being on lame VH1 shows. Maybe one day I’ll make something that shines and gets seen by some Producer or Director. Ha, yeah right. I mean, I’ve had more views on videos that take me 2 hours to write, produce, shoot and edit than ones I’ve spent months upon creating and executing. Oh, YouTube. You’re so fucking sweet. “Oh yeah, me and YouTube go out and party and pull in all the tail and get super drunk together. YouTube’s so cool like that. He parties all night long and just keeps all the yucks coming! Everyone loves YouTube. Man, I love YouTube! He’s my best friend.” Fucking joke. So my rant today as you can tell is of a recent incident that occurred. I’m talking within the last 24 hours. All I wanted to do was post a sample video of our Seaside Videography services and I ended up with frustration and rage. “This video contains content from Believe, GoDigital MG For a Third Party, Pirames International Srl, UMG and EMI, one or more of whom have blocked it in your country on copyright grounds. Banned from the United States.” I don’t need this added stress. But apparently, having a fucking Dean Martin song causes reprimand. I should learn that YouTube is so cool and that we can only play super sweet music like LMFAO to get it by the system. That’s my fault; not yours YouTube. You’re so fucking sweet. All the middle-agers at the water cooler love you. I’ll definitely put some cool Taylor Swift music in there next time. You weren’t mad at me, you were just reminding me that I needed to put super sweet music in my videos so that they won’t get banned in the U.S. Good call bud. See you tonight for some playoff games. Can’t wait, YouTube, can’t wait.
And on a side note, I fucking hate college basketball fans who are actually at the game. These kids won’t ever shut up and it’s annoying as shit. I’m forced to mute the damn channel.