DAY 39: Rework an old bit that you want to work better.

Former:

LIMITED EDITION DVDs: People buy collectible $149 LIMITED EDITION DVDs…you know its like, “oh my GOD!  Matrix Jesus Christ edition?  With the collectible Easter eggs included?  And LOOK at the box design!  It’s got marble encrusted casing and it comes with free fireworks that explode when you open it…now I’m definitely buyin it!”  Then you take it home and enjoy the struggle to open it and enjoy reading the novel that comes inside that talks about everything you don’t care about…and then you put it on the shelf and you look at it and then you organize it into DVD protocol and look at it some more…(pause)…then u sit there and watch the Netflix you rented…

Latter:

LIMITED EDITION DVDs: You ever go into Best Buy and take a look at some of these limited edition DVDs? I mean I rarely, if ever, actually go into Best Buy anyway, but I was coerced into it one day last week.  I go in there and there’s the show Planet Earth. It’s a DVD collection that actually comes in a giant planet earth looking thing.  $149 bucks. People actually buy these collectible $149 LIMITED EDITION DVDs! You know its like, “Holy shit!  Matrix “Jesus Christ” edition?  With the collectible Easter eggs included?  And LOOK at the box design, it’s got marble encrusted casing with fucking fireworks that explode when you open it! Oh man, I’m fucking buyin this!” Right?  Then you take it home and then put it on the shelf and you look at it and then you organize it into DVD protocol behind all the regular DVDs because this thing towers over all the rest of em…and you look at it some more…(beat)…then you get it for Christmas 2 years later because you fucking forgot you had it already.

I know, I need a bigger payoff.  Still working this bit a bit.

DAY 12: Try rewriting a comedy idea you wrote for one genre into another genre.

Today’s task is a doozy (I love saying that term…it’s like saying “he’s such a ham”).  Anyway,  the genre I initially created this bit for was standup comedy.  However, I think I will attempt to make this a 30 second radio voiceover trailer.  The bit mocks “Prison Break” coming to DVD.  For those who don’t know, Prison Break is a shitstorm of a show that I never got into.  Here is the bit below.  If you listen to the audio that’s attached to this posting, you will hear my attempt to make it a funny commercial ad spoof.

PRISON BREAK: So this Christmas, my sister-in-law wanted the Prison Break DVD.  You guys remember Prison Break, right?  I mean it was a show…….about BREAKING…. outta prison.  Shouldn’t this be over by now?  Doesn’t a prison break only take a day.  What, so I’m supposed to see everything leadin up to the “big night”. Who gives a shit about what some asshole criminal did to break outta jail.  I’m sure its not much different from the usual ‘mixed-up cops’ and a SHANKING.  How much can they actually show?  (TRAILER GUY’S VOICE) “1st, they found something to dig with…then they dug…then, they, dug even more.  Now, stay tuned for the season finale where they…catch a cab.” And the fact it took ya a whole season must’ve meant it wasn’t a very good plan.  I mean let’s do a show where at least I’m breaking outta something more interesting like my Columbia Record House contract.