DAY 42: Pick a bit. Try to write a topper for them—not tags, but full-blown jokes that improve the bit by being there.
A topper is a joke that comes after a joke. The topper tends to be funnier than the previous joke. These 2 bits than link together to help improve your overall set.
RELEASE PARTIES: Saw the Playstation 3 price went down. Still cant afford it. I mean I gotta cash in grandma’s bonds and refi just to be able to make the down payment on this fukin thing. Meanwhile some untalented 16 year old pop shithead is singing about puppies and hula hoops walking around with diamond shoelaces that cost more than my old man made at GM working for over 30 years, is getting these Playstations two @ a time at some asanine release party…and why do we have release parties…DVD release parties, CD release parties…some people in Canada are still having VHS release parties…soon they’re gonna be like “Hey! Lets have a release party, Swingline’s gotta new stapler comin out…My Indian neighbor just invited me over to his release party of the new curry spice that’s gonna stink up my apt. hallway… And in case any of u ladies are interested, I brought some KY Jelly so u can meet me in the stall and we can go have our own little release party.
TENTING LIKE A MORON: It’s terrible how much these gaming systems cost. I mean some some people are sitting outside for days waiting for the next best thing. These fuckin morons are out there in tents on a Wednesday and the system doesn’t even go on sale till Friday. The best is that half these idiots are waiting for absolutely nothing! You got 100 people in tents with only 30 Wii’s available for sale. No food or water for the majority of them. They gotta have idiots making Taco Bell runs cause they lost in rock paper scissors. You better hope somebody in line is Red Bulled up and stayin awake, so you assholes don’t get killed. Cause in some of those random Texas towns people are getting killed by either other assholes in line or by the hillbillies who live near the damn Best Buy. I can see the hillbillies now. They come running outta the mountains and while everyone’s all zonked out at 4 AM, they start gnawing on your hairline. The dad’s looking at his inbred son (imitate hillbilly) “you better eat that arm there boy, cause those city folks ain’t waking up. Yes father.” Next thing you know you’re waking up and BA-LOW! You get a shotgun to the face. Then we’re all reading about 17 people dead and eaten at a Best Buy and cops got no traces. But good news! There’s plenty of Wii’s available!