DAY 181: Write a comedy piece about your mode of transportation.
HIGHWAY RUBBERNECKERS - On the highway, in the morning…where does a backup start? Who is the idiot that decided “well, I’m gonna start slowing down right about…(look left and act like ur driving)…here!” as he slams on his brakes. Most of the time its because of something else; and we all know I’m not talking about an accident or a pullover…nope! No. I’m talking about the idiot old people who do it for a hobby. Some old people, and I’m not shitting ya, actually get up, turn off their alarm, put in their dentures and set afoot—purposely to fuck up traffic. And then when they do get out there, they cause all the accidents; either by themselves or from other people who were frustrated by the old people driving. And then when the accident does occur, you get all the rubberneckers who gotta “STOOOP and LOOOK.” And its never anything ever good. I’ve never seen a severed head, or a leg hanging from the antenna. Hell, I’ve never even seen a car on FIRE! Well that’s not true, I did live in LA for 3 years. I think they should have a blinking sign ahead of you that tells us there’s “no body parts” so people wont slow down. Meanwhile I’m behind this guy and I’m pulling my hair out (do it!), honking (do it!), and he finally gets a move on. But then I realize I didn’t see the pullover, sooooo…I gotta slam on my breaks!