DAY 152: Study a late-night talk-show host and see if you can write in his or her style.
I used the above video of Conan O’Brien’s opening monologue as my reference. I will attempt (which is gonna be hard, because Conan is a God among men) to redo his jokes.
1. Facebook went public this week. Biggest IPO in awhile. Apparently, Bono had a big payday and made almost $2 billion dollars on this investment. Yeah, yeah. Bono said that he doesn’t feel any richer than he did when he was 20, because he’s been so lucky to be doing what he loves for all these years. Yeah, yeah. When asked what he would do with the money, Bono responded, “I’m putting it towards my time travel project so I can go back to my 20s and buy myself an extra Ferrari.”
2. The movie Battleship had a tough first week at the box office. It did so poorly, the studio put a hold on the upcoming production, “Tic-Tac-Toe: Decepticon Hitler vs. Autobot Anne Frank”.
3. Al Gore has a new girlfriend, who apparently is very involved with environmental issues. That’s nice. Yeah Gore said his girlfriend’s been assisting with habitat destruction by rejecting Gore’s proposal for a prenup.
4. A new study shows current members of Congress speak at a 10th grade level. When asked about it, Speaker of the House John Boehner replied, “Well did you see Nancy came out of the closet with Harry at the party this weekend? Waaaaaahhhhh. I thought she liked me.”
5. A new report came out that claims good cholesterol is not as good as we thought. This is really bad news for McDonalds’ new triple lipoprotein burger.
6. The Miss Universe pageant was last weekend and the transgender Miss Canada did not win. Apparently judges were not impressed during the bikini challenge when she turned around. In other news, Preparation H landed their new spokesman.
7. A new smart phone app has been designed to let people know when they’re too drunk too drive. Yeah. Here’s how it works. The phone calls a cab when it hears you talk about how Battleship wasn’t really that bad.
8. DC Comics is reporting that one of their prominent characters will soon come out as gay. Yeah, they said though that Robin is not available to comment.