DAY 75: Create a character profile for someone you think might make a good character.
1. Steve Zvara, aka, Zarhead of King Zar: Male, 30. Looks like a semi-Incredible Hulk and carries his persona and bravado to match.
-Occupation: Jack-of-All Trades
-Birthplace/upbringing: Brunswick, OH
-Past/present home life: Lived in trailer that was parked outside his mom’s house
-Hobbies: Kicking ass and scoring with bitches; flying jets
-Work history: Where do we start?
-Education: It’s a mystery, but he’ll tell ya he’s the smartest man in the world
-Ethnic roots: Slovakian meets Muay Thai
-Political views: Democratic, Republican? Fuck no, he’s got own party - Zarcentrican. It’s who lets him get away with kicking some ass
-Affiliations: Czech-Slovak Protective Society
-Work environment: He makes it uneasy for anyone around him
-Criminal record: In and out of run-ins with the law his whole life. But no one can catch Steve. Biggest run-in was when he got caught turfing a neighbor’s lawn and driving over the neighbor’s garbage cans
-Religion: King Zarism
-Social status: Hunter-Gatherer (hunting and gathering broads)
-Private life: Enjoys beatin off to anime porn and arts & crafts on Sundays
-Personal life: Loves hitting on chicks and then hitting them when they step outta line
-Height/weight: 5’11”/210 Lbs.
-Appearance: Stout body, perfect for getting underneath his opponents so he can take them down with ease
-Defects/scars: Gash across his chest from self-inflicted drunken night out with some strippers (he’s always showin off)
-Clothing: Shit-kickers, wife beater and Wranglers boot cut; he owns many low-cut shirts
-Build/figure: Stout like a defensive lineman
-Hair/eyes: Short brown hair/red (inserts contacts each morning)
-Health/strength: Fucked up a little from the steroid abuse/Can lift a car on a bad day
-Physical skills: Limestone, quartzite, uranium…if it’s in his way, he’s punching through it
-Attractiveness: Is this a trick question?
-Voice quality: Bass with a little raspy. A “yackity yack, machine gun” laugh
-Complexion: Overly tanned
-Athletic ability: If there are 29 sports in the Summer Olympic Games and 37 disciplines, Zar competes in 300 sports and over 600 disciplines
-Fears/phobias: Old people, not having enough lard in the kitchen, albino dudes and spiders; intense fear of failure
-Prejudices: Everyone is a n**ger, for irony; black girls are a challenge (a challenge he is willing to accept)
-Pet peeves: The last dip in his chewing tobacco is too small for a nice pinch; oiling up for a bodybuilding contest - those cheaters
-Superstitions: He chooses to drive from the passenger side because the “people in Europe got it right”
-Ambitions: To open his own prison
-Personal problems: Overly drinks pure grain alcohol because he likes the taste; inhaling cigars (cigarettes are for girls)
-Intelligence: CIA material; it’s like the Internet is in his brain
-Secrets: Knows the exact location of the missing escapees of Alcatraz, has hung out and won at 7 card stud with Hassan Izz-Al-Din, Ali Atwa, Saif Al-Adel and Abdul Rahman Yasin
-Values/beliefs: If it’s moving, it’s in my way; if it has tits, fuck it!
-Complexes: Can’t figure out the 987,465th digit of Pi
-Habits: Sleeps with a 12 gauge tucked between his legs because “the pillows aren’t cool on any of the sides”; showers 5x a day (to get rid of evidence)
-Motivations: To be the first Green Beret who Navy Sealed his way through the Special Forces
-Imagination: Willy Wonka ain’t got shit on him
-Attitudes: Hates hipsters, solo musicians, VanDamme, Schwartzenegger, Diesel, Johnson
-Inhibitions: Can’t seem to shake his passion for Motley Crue; once started a tribute band
-Addictions: Kicking too much ass; making everyone around him uncomfortable, yet undermined at the same time
-Moral stands: No making fun of midgets
-Temperament: Watch out mutherfuker
-Likes/dislikes: Likes county commissioners, hates mayors; likes implants/strippers/porn stars (they are professionals/experts in their craft/field), hates weak people like children and the elderly because they “can’t carry their own weight”
Editor’s note from Zar: The first U.S. Women’s National Physique Championship, promoted by Henry McGhee and held in Canton, Ohio in 1978 - STEVE WAS THERE IN HIS MOTHER’S WOMB
Because we heard the great news that our film “Dale Archdale: Private Dick to the Stars” was accepted into the 12th Annual Cape Fear Film Festival, I decided to post the teaser trailer of the movie above.