Appendix B Comedy

DAY 180: Write an observation on a hobby you like.

SPORTS - I loved growing up in Cleveland. We had an identity.  Tough. Middle class. Blue collar.  Shitty sports.  But at least we have teams we love and identify with.  No one’s a fair weather fan in Cleveland. You can’t be…we don’t win enough.  Lebron was teetering a little too much, because the world started wearing Cavs jerseys and we were like “da fuck?”  But I gotta vent a little about sports in the south.  This is where college sports reign supreme over pro sports. Where Duke and UNC have a higher status than any NFL or MLB team.  Where someone who grew up in Raleigh is a Dallas Cowboy, Boston Red Sox, New York Yankees or Atlanta Braves fan. Why? Because they didn’t have teams growing up in the pro forum, so they were stuck rooting for front runners with their dads or uncles.  I don’t blame their upbringing, but it does piss me off.  A handful of them chose vicinity: Atlanta and Washington DC.  One’s 7 hours, one’s 6 hours away accordingly.  That’s a far drive.  The Carolina sports teams are finally old enough where it’s becoming generational.  Some kid actually was born when the Carolina Panthers came into the NFL, so I don’t mind them so much. I’m still getting used to them as being a team though, only because I remember when Jacksonville and Carolina came into the league and we didn’t like them.  In any case, I love calling out fans in the south about their pro teams. It’s funny to me. Who cares! I was lucky enough to grow up with shithead teams that don’t win.  But, they’re my team.  They’re from my city that I grew up in.  I was there for the old stadium. I had season tickets in the dog pound when it was the real dog pound, before that asshole Model relocated them.  I laugh, cry and go crazy with them on the whole train ride that is professional sports.  I like Ohio State and grew up loving Notre Dame too, but I didn’t go to OSU or ND.  I enjoy barking at people on vacations that I meet that are wearing Michigan blue, but my passion lies with the pros. NFL, MLB and NBA.  Well, mainly NFL and MLB. But pro sports is my hobby.  It’s the thing that gives me chills when I watch a cool montage on ESPN that’s a “look back on this year’s best plays with DJ Steve Porter.” It’s the hobby that is the first thing I talk about with my buddies on the weekends.  It’s the hobby that joins me and my dad together for if not for sports, who knows what we’d talk about most of the time.  It’s my earliest memories with friends, playing 3rd base and offensive line (center) for all those years. It’s the reality show that will always have a time slot.  And for those who don’t like sports. For those who don’t realize that a golf course has to start manicuring it’s course 5 years before the US Open will take place there or don’t realize that comeback stories in Hollywood are most of the times based on the blood, sweat and tears that came out of an athlete; I say “your loss.”  I’ll be hanging out at the bar watching whatever’s on.  Olympic trials?  World Series of Poker?  The Triple Crown? Sounds good to me. So long as it’s sports.

Above is another video of me blowing up hippies.

DAY 145: Father’s Day is about three weeks away! Start fixing up this material now.

My ole man is awesome.  He’s such a character.  I enjoy living close to him these days and being able to hang out with him and golf once a month, at least.  I love going to places with him where there’s a small issue with something and watching him get riled up. I’ll be like “sorry, my dad hates when you run out of cocktail sauce, as you can tell” or “sorry, my dad likes the spot right next to the entrance, and you were in his way.”  He’ll also say these little gems that you have to catch about day-to-day life.  He loves rippin on morons, as do I.  He also loves baggin on bad sports, as do I.  He enjoys getting fired up over shitty commercials, shows and movies, as do I.  Come to think about it, I would actually consider myself a Jr. Bob.  I feel like I’ve adapted all my mannerisms and behavioral patterns from my dad.  I get overheated at the drop of a dime, I hate when it’s cart path only and I can’t stand cop shows where a broad is pulling out a gun. With all that being said, I’m gonna work on some good bits about my ole man, because I think the world would enjoy his humor as I’ve come to do.  More about this coming soon enough.

Also, above is a video featuring my ole man watching our favorite Ohio State Buckeyes play the Michigan Wolverines.  This is where I get my sports passion from, FYI.

Grade School Slackers, Episode 4

Grade School Slackers, Episode 4